“What the hell were you thinking Shipra?” Krish roared into the phone.
“KB, it’s just damage control… nothing else. We didn’t know that last event would bring in negative publicity. Nonetheless its all settled now…”
“Shipra, don’t think I don’t know what you were trying to do. ‘press release’ in front of the press… really? Since when did press releases come directly from you all without my approval? You thought you could keep me in the dark? You just threw that young woman before those hounds on purpose, didn’t you? You knew they would just tear her apart?”
“KB calm down. You didn’t have to go to be her savior and mess things up….”
“…I messed up, what an audacity Shipra. First of all, you have crossed all ethical and professional boundaries not to mention the fate of that woman is now in doldrums. I gave you a free reign so far and that was my error in judgement. I have also been an accomplice in all that you have done so far, so I am not involving my lawyer this time…” he was furious.
“…Please KB, you have trusted my judgement for last couple of years and see where it has brought you… just trust me once again this time. That woman… Kajal, she is a new employee and the world will soon forget about her. But right now, the attention has shifted from you to her. We had to do something given that new TV series of yours which is going to launch soon with the famous Alina Marfatia… You should start prepping for that don’t you think…leave all this nitty gritty to me…”
“…That’s enough Shipra… Henceforth no decisions on press releases or any such publicity stunts are to take place without my consent. Am I clear?” he used his lethal tone and no response from the other end meant Shipra had agreed.
He disconnected the call and held his head in his hands. He hoped the news didn’t backfire on that young woman. She seemed naïve and clueless. Her accusing eyes still bored into his heart. He cancelled his ad shoot for the evening and rushed home. He had called Hetal on his way and she was more than willing to join him given the fiasco last night. He knew there was only one way to get respite from the turmoil in his heart.
Hetal was waiting for him as his car entered the driveway of his housing complex. He owned the complete top floor penthouse. Relieving the driver, he took the elevator as Hetal joined him in the closed area, her strong vanilla perfume which usually turned him on was causing him to gag. She tried to get close to him rubbing her sides to his. In the couple of times that they had got intimate she had begun the foreplay in the similar manner and he hadn’t had any problem. Intercourse was just an act for him minus emotions and he didn’t even feel the relief of getting it done with.
But today for some reason the scent was only putting him off.
Ever since Kajal had left the vanity van he had been upset and anxious. His mind had been troubled like the rough seas hitting the shores frequently. He had got this kind of turmoil after years. He had thought he had control over emotions but it didn’t seem like it. Today his control hung by a thin thread threatening to snap any moment emanating his subdued rage.
As soon as they entered his apartment, he stopped suddenly and Hetal almost crashed into him.
“Just go back.” He spoke softly.
“What…?” Hetal looked startled as if she had been slapped.
“…I said, go home… I need to be alone.” His restlessness was getting the better of him. It would be wrong to lash out at Hetal. She wasn’t at fault here.
“What the fuck KB? I gave up my plans to be with you today. I had…”
“…Go back to whatever plans were there. Just…OUT…” he pointed towards the door.
Hetal stomped out in a huff and he quickly gulped down a bottle of cold water.
He plonked on the living room couch and sighed. The visions of the car crash came surging in and he began to hyperventilate. He curved into a fetal position and tried the maneuvers taught to him by the psychologist. Gradually he began to feel better at least he was able to breathe. He straightened on the couch and a stray tear escaped the confines of his eye.
He couldn’t take it anymore. All of a sudden, he stood up and rushed into his enclave… The innermost room in the first level of his penthouse was off limits for everyone including the old caretaker chacha who was extremely discreet. He had got a few women here but they knew what they were doing. They were from the elite club he used to visit… so there were no questions asked.
But today as he unlocked the outer heavy door and dragged it towards him, he still felt the restlessness struggling to come all out. He entered the room and shut himself taking in the scent of the leather and rexin and even metal. He switched on the assortment of lights and looked around at his creation…
The huge room was colored in brown and red shades and had a double poster bed in the center. It was upholstered with a fitted red leather coverlet and topped with a red leather bolster and at the moment it called him into its fold. He looked at the pair of horizontal rods hanging over the bed, their origins well concealed beyond the false ceiling which were a new addition and he was yet to try them out. He moved towards the wall admiring his collection of assorted whips neatly arranged in ascending order of their sizes. Each had talons of different materials hanging at their ends for better effect. By the time he touched the last in the row he was painfully hard.
He continued his navigation and moved towards the wall with attached floor length wardrobe. He drew apart the door and saw the different leather bands with cuffs. He turned towards the specially ordered chesterfield couch. That was what he needed today.
He undressed completely and sat bare on the grey inclined couch. There were a few steel chains suspended from the ceiling ending with a leather circular cuff. He strapped his thighs in them and pressed the remote button. The two chains moved away from each other pulling his things away as well. When they were painfully apart, he pressed another button controlling the cuff pressure and increased it to three times its current one. The cuffs dug into his thighs and he clenched his teeth as pain engulfed his senses making him forget everything.
Nothing mattered at the moment. The accident, his crappy past, his hide and seek with media… nothing. The pain increased further as the tiny metal beads lining the outer edge of the cuffs pierced further into his delicate inner thighs and he felt the soft trickle of wetness on the floor. That was the point he had to stop. He pressed the remote-control button yet again and was soon relived of the confines.
Minutes later after bandaging his wounds he lay on the bed staring at the ceiling with cut mirrors that showed him his fragmented image. Well, that’s how his life was splintered.
Out of nowhere the beautiful eyes on the round innocent face cruised before his eyes, just like the way they shone under the spotlight and he was hard again… God no… of all the women in the world it cant be her. No… but the more he tried to get rid of the image the more it invaded his minds eye.
Giving up, he shuffled to the attached bathroom and started the cold shower. It took about fifteen minutes for him to douse his arousal…
As he walked out side to his bedroom to spend another agonizing night, he remembered Kajal yet again. This time there wasn’t any carnal attraction but it was as if her face had some sort of a calming effect on him. He felt at ease.
Thank God for little mercies. He had no right to enjoy anything sexual… the release had to be painful or nothing at all… He had made a pact with himself for years. The special chamber was perfectly designed to punish him to the extent he chose, as the elite club he visited didn’t let him punish himself.
Was he a deviant-delinquent? Maybe so…
He didn’t deserve any physical gratification when he was the one who concomitantly killed his friends. He dug his head into his pillow even as his thighs throbbed. He cried his heart out stopping only when he saw those beautiful brownish orbs smiling at him… as sleep claimed him.